


You Know What I Mean

by rendawnie



Series: Pieces [10]
Category: Monsta X (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Fluff, Friendship, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, idolverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 09:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11461233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rendawnie/pseuds/rendawnie
Summary: They’ve been close for years, friends since before debut. Now, Yoongi is done avoiding how Kihyun makes him feel.Soundtrack: "You Know What I Mean", Cults





	You Know What I Mean

Somewhere between the tenth and eleventh times Yoongi glances at his phone to see how late Kihyun is running, he starts to doubt everything.

He starts to doubt that any of this is a good idea at all, that he should be here, at their spot, the one by the river, at this stupid hour of the night.

He starts to doubt that he should do or say any of the things he’s been planning all week.

He’s _really_ starting to doubt that he should have told Kihyun this would be a picnic, when all he has to show for it is two bottles of soda and a big bag of honey butter chips. Yoongi doesn’t even _like_ honey butter chips, but he knows Kihyun loves them, so he tried. He’s _trying._

All of this is deeply, woefully out of his element, but Yoongi is used to that by now. He’s slowly getting used to the way Kihyun makes him feel, and he doesn’t want to get so used to it that it accidentally knocks him into complacency when he’s not paying attention.

After everything, after nearly five years of friendship and both of their debuts and successes, Yoongi is finally ready to pay attention.

There’s been something between them for a long while, and Yoongi is positive that they both know it, on some level. It’s just never been the right time. Their lives are filled with schedules and recordings and shows and so many things, and Yoongi is starting to realize that maybe it’ll _never_ be the right time for this, and maybe that doesn’t matter as much as he thought, in the beginning.

“When it’s right, you _make_ time,” Namjoon had said, in his infinite wisdom, when Yoongi had given up enough to ask him what he thought about the whole situation. Looking back, he’s not sure why he bothered, because it’s not like Namjoon has any more experience with this than Yoongi does. None of them do. But he can try.

He’s jarred from his thoughts by the sound of shoes slapping against the sidewalk, and when Yoongi looks up, Kihyun is jogging towards him, out of breath, but still smiling, and Yoongi puts forth all the effort he has left in him not to make his heart eyes too obvious.

He remembers the first time they met, suddenly. It was years ago, before either of them had made it “big”, whatever that means. People keep telling Yoongi he’s made it big, and he wonders if he’ll ever believe them.

Anyway.

It was years ago, before debuts and shows and recordings were even a thing for either of them.

Yoongi was performing at some club, far away from the downtown high-rise he lives in now. Kihyun was at the show, and when he pulled Yoongi aside on his way off the stage, rapturous with excitement and full of compliments and sure, maybe a few critiques, Yoongi had been caught completely off-guard.

He’d been unprepared for the way Kihyun talked, fast and confident and clear. He’d been unprepared for Kihyun’s smile, the one that made his eyes crinkle and Yoongi’s heart beat faster. He’d blamed it on stage adrenaline at the time, but he’s not sure how much longer that argument would have held out, even if he hadn’t planned this whole evening.

This whole confession.

_Anyway._

Kihyun waves even though he’s only a few steps away from Yoongi, and Yoongi doesn’t quite make his brain work fast enough to wave back before Kihyun plops down next to him and steals four chips out of the open bag sitting on the grassy hill Yoongi’s been occupying.

“Honey butter chips! My favorite. You’re a lifesaver, Yoongi,” Kihyun says happily, and Yoongi is trying to pay attention, he really is, except all the talking Kihyun is doing is happening with that _face_ , and it’s difficult.

Sometimes, Yoongi wonders how long he’s been this soft for Kihyun, without even noticing.

“Sorry I’m late. Vague studio crisis, Jooheon’s been working on this song for like, weeks, and it was going great but then he had a total meltdown over it and Hyunwoo was at the gym so I had to try to diffuse the situation as best I could, which was not my best because I was so pumped about seeing you and really annoyed that I wasn’t going to be on time. You know I hate being late.”

Yoongi knows. He knows a lot about Kihyun. Kihyun knows more about Yoongi than anyone else outside his groupmates and his family.

“Yeah,” he says faintly. He feels faint.

“Anyway,” Kihyun says after inhaling a few more chips. “What’s up with you? It’s been, what, like, two months? Something? Since before the Billboards.”

Yoongi goes over the events of that night in his mind for the thousandth time. Being in America. Being in Las Vegas, for the first time. Being hopeful, but trying not to have his hopes up.

Seeing Nicki Minaj and Lil’ Wayne by the restrooms.

Fuck.

Winning.

_Fuck._

He remembers every second of it, crystal clear in his mind. Yoongi’s not sure it’ll ever go away, and he’s glad.

What he remembers the most, after all of that, after hugging the other members and crying with them backstage, is talking to Kihyun.

Yoongi remembers curling up on the bed in his hotel room while everyone else was crammed into the room next door, partying and laughing and yelling. He remembers Kihyun texting him.

 

_Congratulations! I’m so proud of you :3_

 

He remembers texting back.

 

_Can I call you?_

 

Somehow, Kihyun was the only person he wanted to talk to at that exact moment.

They’d stayed on the phone for two hours, even though it was midnight in America and late afternoon in Korea and Kihyun was half-asleep, catching the only nap he could during a few hours' break in a day full of schedules, and Yoongi is always sort of half-asleep. He doesn’t think he’s had many nights where he slept better than that one, when he eventually drifted off.

Back in the present, Kihyun is waiting for an answer, but he doesn’t seem too bothered by the silence, since he’s filling it with chip crunches and slurps off his soda bottle. Yoongi clears this throat, trying to formulate something resembling a response.

“Uh. Yeah. Since before that,” he says, and then he pauses again to think. Kihyun waits it out, staring out onto the river.

“I’ve been fine,” Yoongi continues after a while. “Just, y’know. Working and whatnot.”

Kihyun hums in agreement, and they fall back into the quiet.

Yoongi frowns. He’s going to have to do _something,_ he knows, if this is going to happen. Otherwise, they’ll just sit here by the river for hours and not get anywhere.

“I actually, uh...I wanted to talk to you about something,” Yoongi starts, unsure of where he’s going, now. Kihyun glances over at him, eyes expectant and sparkling in the moonlight. Yoongi makes himself look up, then he looks away quickly, because Kihyun’s gaze is so warm that Yoongi doesn’t know what to do with himself. He plucks a chip from the bag and pops it in his mouth, and _ugh,_ he really does hate honey butter chips, but they’ve just saved him from the awkward silence for the moment, so Yoongi supposes he can give them a little begrudging appreciation.

Kihyun’s just waiting. Eating and waiting.

Yoongi remembers something else, suddenly. He remembers the end of their conversation when he was in America and Kihyun wasn’t. He remembers Kihyun’s voice getting sleepier, softer, on his side of the call.

He remembers Kihyun murmuring something. Something Yoongi hadn’t wanted to believe was real at the time.

_“I wish I was there. I’d kiss you, I think.”_

Yoongi had managed to sputter, “ _What_??” through his impending heart attack, and Kihyun had replied, “What? I think I’m gonna get back to my nap, hyung,” and Yoongi had let him and they’d never talked about it again.

He hopes they both recall it happening. It’ll make what he’s about to do a lot easier.

“I wanted to talk to you about maybe, like...maybe...going out sometime,” Yoongi says, he and knows it’s terribly vague and not what he was intending at all, but he can probably save it.

Kihyun nods. “Sure. Like, to a movie or something?”

Yoongi shrugs. “Or something. But just, like. Together.”

Kihyun gives Yoongi a confused look. “Right. Obviously. That’s what going out involves.”

He thinks Yoongi means as friends. Yoongi emphatically does not.

Yoongi tries again. “I mean, like, go _out,_ Kihyun.”

Kihyun furrows his brow, setting down his bottle of soda. “Yes. I got that much. What movie do you want to see?”

Yoongi sighs exasperatedly. “I don’t _care_ about a fucking movie, Kihyun. I care about _you._ Jesus, can’t I just tell you how I _feel_??”

Kihyun stops talking. He stops moving altogether, and Yoongi takes that as a signal that he is invited to continue guiding this evening into a complete and total crash and burn.

“I just want to tell you how I _feel._ Finally. After all this time. I’m _tired,_ okay?” Yoongi can see Kihyun opening his mouth out of the corner of his eye, no doubt primed to make some snarky comment on that statement, but Yoongi doesn’t let him.

“I’m tired of pretending like I don’t have feelings for you, and I’m tired of not being able to kiss you, and I’m really, _really_ tired of pretending like you didn’t say you wanted to kiss me too, that phone call after the Billboards.”

Yoongi feels Kihyun’s sharp intake of breath as much as he hears it.

“Yeah. I remember that, okay? I didn’t fucking know what to do with it at the time, but I didn’t forget. So, can we just…” Yoongi trails off, licking his lips and trying to catch his breath. It works, sort of. “Can we just go out sometime? As...not friends? As something different than that?”

When Yoongi makes himself look up at Kihyun again, Kihyun’s got this funny little smile on his face, almost a smirk. Yoongi is mildly annoyed.

Neither of them say anything for another few moments, until Kihyun finally puts the chip in his hand back in the bag, wipes his fingers on his jeans, closes both of their bottles of soda and sets them to the side, and scoots closer to Yoongi. He’s so close that Yoongi can feel Kihyun’s breath tickling the tip of his nose.

“Are you asking me on a date, Min Yoongi?” Kihyun whispers, and Yoongi’s nodding before he can stop himself. He can’t seem to _stop_ nodding, actually. Kihyun’s got him a little hypnotized. As always.

Kihyun’s slipping his hand into Yoongi’s when he goes on. “Can we hold hands in the theater? Like this?”

Yoongi’s still nodding.

Kihyun leans in closer, until their lips are almost brushing. “Can we kiss in the back row?”

Yoongi chuckles quietly. “Don’t push your lu--”

He starts to say the words, but he doesn’t get to finish the sentence, because Kihyun squeezes his hand and kisses his cheek instead and asks, “What took you so long?”


End file.
